Minding my P's and Q's

I can't ever remember leaving my home for anything, and I mean anything without my mom uttering the phrase mind your P's and Q's. I don't know if I was more perplexed with what the heck that actually meant or how she was able to scramble from anywhere in the house (whether she was aware I was leaving or not) to make sure she had a chance to make sure my ears would hear her motherly plea. Eventually as technology advanced, and she learned how to properly send a text message, if she didn't get the chance to verbally tell me, she would text to me at least once if not twice or three times.

I knew why my mother was so determined to plug this little nugget of wisdom in my ear. She wanted me to always be the best me I could be when I wasn't under her watchful eye. I know that I had my share of trouble growing up, but I believe in large part of my mom's efforts that the trouble I got into was only a small sample of what it could've been.

On this Mother's day I can't help but think of and miss my mom. Marilee Bailey was her name, and I never really realized how great I had it as a son until May of last year when she passed away after her battle with cancer. It's hard for me to think of anything that is good in my life, or any smidgen of good in  myself that isn't a direct result of my mother's influence. There is a saying hanging in the dining room of my father's house that says, "A mother's hug lasts long after she lets go". I often think about that saying in multiple scenarios of my life. The influence of my mother has stuck with me since her passing, which is something I'm truly grateful for.

Sometimes though I really miss her. I miss calling her anytime I feel sick or hurt, and asking what I should do to relive those bumps and bruises. I miss my advice machine, anytime I needed help she was there with words of wisdom to guide me where I should go. I miss my mom, who would do anything and everything for me (including sitting through all three installments of Lord of the Rings just to spend time with her son). Some days I really just want my mom.

My mom isn't gone though and either is my motherly influences. I still have my sisters Kelli, Heidi and Alisa who are always looking out for their bouncing baby brother. They are each like my mom in their own way. Then I have Jenna who's there to give me the hug I need when I'm down. I also have the old man, pops, my dad. He's my best friend without whom I don't know where I'd be without that guy.

Moral of the story is that I, as with anyone who knew her, miss my mom so much. We also know that because of her selfless attitude she would want the best for all of us even if she wasn't here with us. I can only echo the unofficial theme of my mother's funeral. Be cheerful and brave. Happy mother's day mom, hopefully you have internet access wherever you are and maybe you can read this. Just know I'm doing my best to mind my P's and Q's.

-Ryan